How I Survived Those Years

A Poem

when all I wanted was to disappear
not die, exactly,
just go to a faraway nothingness
and never return
when I had my teenage fists in the blanket, crying so
no one else could hear
Please God take this away. Please God help
me. Stop the thoughts stop them please
oh
please
God
When I woke in the night
sure I was dying
my heartbeat a restless racehorse
before the starting line
Oh please God oh
please
When…